A Few Musings

So, I have several things that I want to share, but I don't want to write several posts, so all of my musings (well, you know, for now) will go in this post.

First, I have to tell you how proud of myself I was on Tuesday. I went shopping (because I had been eating Fiber One bars and yogurt for a couple days in a row for lunch and I was tired of it) and I took my fancy Evil*Mart shopping bags with me so I could save the environment by not using plastic sacks. I was extremely proud of myself, as I put my shopping bags on the checkstand, believing that the bag boys must think that I was an amazing person because I was saving the environment.

Until I looked at my purchases (I spent $90, so I had a lot) and realized that almost everything I bought was wrapped up in tons of paper and plastic and metal (I bought a can of whipped cream...mmm, yummy, aaahhhh...). Then I didn't feel like I was saving the environment anymore. Instead, I felt like a stupid little girl with my stupid little shopping bags and I wanted to crawl under the load of groceries and disappear. But what can a person do?!

Second, I am admitting to the entire world now (because the five people who read my blog are "the entire world"), that I cried, or more accurately sobbed, Tuesday night when Barack Obama was elected. I have been a supporter of Obama since before he even started campaigning. In fact, I had a feeling he would run for president a year before campaigning even started. I read The Audacity of Hope and was very impressed by his politics and policies.

Tuesday night, I was so scared. I really didn't believe that white America would vote for an African American. I hoped that people would see past the color and look at the man, but I didn't really believe it could happen.

So, when CBS plastered it across the screen that Barack Obama had been elected, I started sobbing. I cried for quite a bit of that evening and then the entire drive into work the next morning, which, of course, took longer than usual because of that stupid snow storm we had.

I have only cried for joy three times in my life. The first was when Maribel committed to baptism. The second was when I got my first (and current) teaching job. And the third was when Barack Obama was elected president. I feel like it's "A Whole New World" and everything is exciting and new.

I was reminded of a line from The Secret Life of Bees when Zach (a black teenager) tells Lily (a white teenager) that he wants to be a lawyer and Lily just can't get her mind around that idea. She says that a person has to see something before he or she can believe it and Zach's reply is, "You gotta imagine something before it can happen." That quote has been stuck in my mind since Tuesday night. We (those who believed in Obama and who looked past race to something more important) imagined a world where anyone really and truly can become whatever he or she wants to be.

And my third musing for the post (see, I stuck to a "few" this time) is actually a little bit related to the last musing. I went and saw The Secret Life of Bees last night with Amy and Tavia. I was disappointed in the movie and didn't cry even though I was sure I would and even brought tissues to quench the tears that I was sure would come). However, I was again fascinated by the concept of May's wall and I wish I had something that tangible to help me get rid of my sorrows.

I guess, my friends, you are my wall.

So, that's the end of this ridiculously long post. I hope that, if you choose to make comments, that they will be nice (not that anyone has ever made a rude/inappropriate comment on my blog), because I really have allowed myself to be a little vulnerable here. I don't want your sympathy or any thing like that. I just thought I needed the musings to be out there or, I guess, on here, because where else can I share my musings?