Hope's Flutterings

This is a poem I was going to use for my writing sample that I need to submit with my application to graduate school next week. And, since I'm a little bit crazy, I've decided to send some fiction work instead of poetry, so I guess I'll be working on THAT all weekend. And, since I am now not sending poetry for my writing sample, I'm going to share this piece with you.

My thing with feathers,
I'm so glad you're back.
I thought you’d taken an extra-long
southern vacation.
I’ve waited for centuries
To feel your flutterings inside me.
I was at the end of my rope
No light at the end of the tunnel
Treading water
Just surviving
When you sang your sweet song in
the nest of my soul.

No, I thought as your melody rang through me,
Not me. I can’t do that.
I’m not smart enough
Talented enough
Ambitious enough
Enough enough.
But you kept at it.
You made me think about a new future.
A brighter future.
I started to believe that maybe, just maybe,
What I had come to think of as only
daydreams conjured to dull the boredom
of grading papers
could be a reality.
A real life.

And when doubt, your scavenger relative,
Came pecking and chirping
You’re nothing!
You’ll starve!
You’re crazy!
I swept him out the window with the straw end of my broom

And there you still were
Hanging out in the perch of my soul
Urging me to complete the application
Take the test
Keep on writing.

It must not be easy to be my thing with feathers.
Certainly you wish that you belonged to another
Who didn’t constantly quiet you
with the mundane details of life,

But you’re still here
And your song pops up at random times,
In the middle of class.
In the middle of a sentence.
In the middle of—

Where was I?

Oh!

And I want to shout

Hope, thank you!
Thank you for inspiring me to
Move on
Move out
Move up
To move.

No more imagined futures for me.
With you, I’ll realize my dreams.