Sunday, February 14, 2010

For My Valentine


Okay, I pretty much stink at taking pictures. These are the beautiful flowers that TSH sent me at the school on Friday. Today is our 8th Valentine's that we've been together. 8 years ago, he said that he had to get me the "obligatory gift" for Valentine's day. And he's still trying to make up for that comment. Probably because I keep bringing it up. But I did get a little teary-eyed when I went down to the office and picked this up, since it was so obvious that he had been thinking about this for awhile. What can I say? I lucked out 8+ years ago when TSH called and asked me out and I said, "Sorry, I have a date that night, but I'd love to go out with you some other time," and he called me back the next week and asked me out again.
Last fall I decided that I wanted to write him a love poem, but I had the hardest time doing it. Everything I wrote sounded...mushy. So, I wrote this for him instead and gave it to him for Christmas.
Well, I Tried

I wanted to write you a love poem
but I can’t.
I’m sorry;
I’m not good at the mushy-mushy stuff.
I wanted to write about the miles that
separate us but how there’s an invisible
thread between our hearts and it will
bleed if it’s stretched too far
But I was afraid it would sound too cheesy
And, besides, I think I’ve read that in
a book, so I wouldn’t be the first to write it.
Or, I thought, I would say something
about carrying you in my heart
But, again, I realized, that as well had already
been said before.

So, perhaps, everything that can be
said about love has already been said
and there is no unique way for me
to say it again.
And maybe that’s okay.
Maybe I don’t need to be clever or cute.
This isn’t an Austen novel
and I’m not trying to impress a potential
suitor.

I was just trying to write a love poem
to the man who I’ve been married to
for seven years and who is thousands of
miles away.
But, I can’t.
Sorry.
There are no sweet words in my
soul/heart for the person who has supported me
and loved me
despite my angry rampages
and depressed moods
Who’s loved me even when I joke about
only sticking around until Hugh Jackman
becomes available
The guy who has given me more hope and more joy
and who has seen more beauty in me than I
ever knew was there.


That’s why I wanted to write you this
love poem.

But I’m blank.

Maybe I’ll go to the grocery store
and find an appropriate Hallmark card that says,

I love you
I adore you
You are my one and only
You are my beginning
You are my end
You are da bomb!
You are my everything
My everything
When I think about you,
that’s what I think of,
You’re my everything.
And if man or God decides to take
you from me
Have I lost everything?

Does Hallmark make that kind of card?

I suppose this is the part where a
better poet would write about how
our love will last forever,
how the sun and stars will burn out
and turn dark before our love ever dims,
but I don't know how to write that
without sounding clich├ęd.

I guess I won't bother to write you
a poem.
I'll have to express my love
some other way.
Happy Valentine's Day, TSH.

2 comments:

ty said...

WO1 You made me cry. That was so sweet. ( message from Anndrea not ty)

Andria said...

Thank you, Anndrea. (I know you're really Tyler and you just don't want to admit it, but I'll play along!)