Fat Tuesday: It's my birthday!

Today is my birthday. And so, I'm going to show pictures of me looking pretty in my birthday outfit I bought from Maurices. Yeah. You can get one two, but it will look differently on you, 'cause our bodies? They're different.

After last week's melt down about some pictures I saw, you'd think I might avoid this, but no. 'Cause I looked AWESOME today. Word.

I know. I know. You're drooling. But, seriously, you can pick up the shirt and the cardi at Maurices, which has some really cute plus size things. And some awesome boots! Oh, I'll have to show you the boots another time. They're uber-cute!

And here's a selfie. Yay! It's my birthday! 37 is the new 25, right?

(The necklaces I'm wearing, sadly, are not from Maurices. The loooong one is from Vegas. The short one is my Pyrrha pendant that's become my talisman. I wear it day and night and, yes, in the shower. I occasionally take it off if I'm wearing another short necklace OR when I'm going through security at the airport. Otherwise, if you see me, I'll be wearing it. It has a raven as well as "Live in peace" in French. Yes, I do need that reminder every single day.)

Now I'm going to eat cake and ice cream. 'Cause it's my birthday! Woot!

Storybowl!

Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of spending two days with Andrea Scher of Superhero Life and I had the opportunity to experience Storybowl. When we finished, I knew I wanted to bring the experience home. So, here are the details for my first Storybowl! Woohoo!

I tried it from a cookbook!

Yes. I cooked. And the recipe DID NOT come from Pinterest (huge surprise, I know!). Instead it came from CrazySexyKitchen by Kris Carr.

I don't do a lot of cooking, and I'm definitely not vegan or a vegetarian, but I have been wanting to add more veggies and fruits to my diet, so I when I read about this book, I quickly put it on hold at the library.

When Sunday looked like this

I thought it was the perfect moment to try the Coconut and Red Lentils soup recipe. It took a lot longer than I thought it would to prepare it but it was SO worth it! (FYI, I love curry and coconut and ginger, so if you're ever trying to impress me at dinner, you might want to experiment with those.)

Here are some pics from my adventures in cooking (sorry, I'm not going to include the recipe here; I know other bloggers might, but this is Ms. Carr's intellectual property, and, as a writer, I feel uncomfortable giving away her hard work; I bet you can find the book at your local library though...).

And the piece de resistance: (drumroll, please)

And, the best part of this soup, my boys are extremely picky eaters (although I made them each try a spoonful) and my husband doesn't like leftovers, so I have TONS of soup left over for me! Woohoo! I've put them in separate Ziploc containers and I took some to work this week as well as put some more in the freezer. So when I'm feeling a little under the weather, I can pull this delicious concoction out, heat it up, and enjoy. 

So, do you have a favorite easy-ish soup recipe you'd like to share? 

Fat Tuesday: When I rule the world, I'll break all the cameras...

So, my plan for last Tuesday had been to do some fabulous Fat and Pretty in the Big City edition of Fat Tuesday, because I was in the San Francisco Bay area the weekend before, but it didn't happen. I'd thought I would go to some awesome stores and find cute plus size clothes and take great pictures of myself wearing those.

But that didn't happen. What did happen was probably so much better, but still, it left me blogpost-less last week. Hence, Lady Buddha. (I'll tell you the story some day of how she came into my life. I promise.)

So, I decided that this week would be sort of an "accessories" week, because accessories almost always fit. I LOVE them!

But that's not going to happen. Because something else happened, and I'm going to talk about that. (Don't worry, though, you'll get a good look at my obsession with jewelry and other fun things soon.)

Today I'm going to talk about...pictures. And how I wanted to cry last Tuesday after an a-MAZING weekend with some of the loveliest, loving women I've ever met.

The first weekend of October, my cousin and soul-sister, Nicole, and I went to a creativity retreat led by Andrea Scher and Laurie Wagner. I know. I sort of couldn't believe it either. Do you know who Andrea is? Did you take a look at Laurie's house? I mean, it was kind of a "wow" for me all weekend long. And there was a lot of laughing and crying and introspection this weekend that was entirely a surprise for me. There was writing and painting and gluing and eating going on as well, but that ended up taking a backseat to all of the other incredible things that were happening.

As with all weekends like that one, you don't want to go back to your normal life, right? You want to just float on the positive emotions until you get to your next chance to feel...blissful. When I saw, Wednesday morning, that one of the attendees had posted pictures of me, I was excited to look at them.

And then I saw them.

And all I saw was a really fat girl.

It made me sort of sick to my stomach. In fact, I texted Nicole about it right away, telling her that I was trying to not let the upset me. But they did upset me.

All those warm, fuzzies I had from the weekend flew out the window (okay, not out the window because you can't actually open the window in my classroom, but out the door and down the hall) and I was left with this sadness.

Because I felt like the real Andria wasn't there. How could she have been when the real Andria looks nothing like the Andria I was seeing in those images?

I'm not saying real Andria is thin. I know I'm not. But I didn't realize what I really looked like.

(Yes, I do look in a mirror every day, but even the person in my mirror, while overweight, doesn't look like the person I was seeing there.)

Nicole texted me back: "Just flipped through Allison's and Erin's pictures. Many of you because you are beautiful! The camera was drawn to you."

Pfft.

I really do wish I could believe this. But, at this moment, I don't. I don't like those pictures of me. I want them to be erased from memory cards and the internets and never ever to have existed.

But that won't happen. And so, I'm going to just keep on keeping on. I'm going to get up in the mornings and dress the best I can. I'm going to try to love myself and show myself that love in ways other than eating (although it's still going to happen; I have to be honest with myself). And I'm going to try to not let myself be dragged into the self-hate votex that is swirling around me.

Honestly, I could use some help. Friends, what are some ways that you show yourself love when all you want to do is eat Phish Food?

Fat Tuesday: Postponed...

Lady Buddha is here to tell you that Fat Tuesday is postponed until next week. Thank you.

Fat Tuesday: Go ahead. You deserve something pretty today.

So, last week, I received an email with a link to Sarah Jenks' program Live Well Weigh Less, and I have to tell you, it looks pretty darn cool. If you sign up for the free training, you'll get access to four videos of varying lengths and, quite honestly, varying degrees of usefulness.

However, there were a few things that really resonated with me. And a few things I've always wanted to do. And I'll let you watch the videos, because I don't want to steal Sarah's content, but one little thing she said was to buy yourself flowers every week.

On Tuesday, I ran into the grocery store for peanut butter and bread for my kids' lunches and was stopped by the small floral area which actually has a lot of different bouquets for really great prices. So I bought four to make two arrangements (confession: I don't actually know how to arrange flowers, so my pics might make you cringe a little). One is for my front room (which I actually cleaned and then rearranged the furniture on the autumnal equinox):

And another for my bedroom:

What's does this have to do with Fat Tuesday? 

Simply put, my friends, we all deserve to have beautiful flowers. No matter our body size or shape or our level of health. We deserve to enjoy all of the lovely things, all of the wonderful, fun experiences, this world has to offer us. And we don't have to wait until we're our "perfect" size in order to have and enjoy those things. We really can have them now. 

Friends, have you been waiting for the "perfect" moment to do that fun activity? Or go to that store? Or eat at that restaurant? Guess what? That perfect moment is now! (Okay, not right now. Finish reading this then go get in your car.) 

So, what're you going to do right now instead of waiting for that perfect moment?