A thought for you

"I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become." --Carl Jung

A Thought For You: Now is the time...

"Now is the time to know that all you do is sacred." --Hafiz

Fat Tuesday: A Special Guest Post

This blog post was written by my dear cousin Nicole. She asked me if she could write a post for Fat Tuesday, and, of course, I said, "Yes!" And I'm so glad she did, because this post hits spot on with many of the reasons that I started Fat Tuesday. So, without further ado, here is Nicole and her beautiful daughter Zoey:

This is Zoey.

She’s almost 8 years old. She is a dancer, a musician, a writer, a swimmer, a rainbow loom jewelry maker, a singer, a friend, a bookworm, and my daughter. 

I recently came across a Dove advertisement on YouTube that said that 6 out of 10 girls will stop doing what they love because they feel bad about the way they look. Here-you can watch it for yourself. It’s short. I’ll wait for you.

Are you back? Oh good.

When I saw this ad I began to cry-because my beautiful daughter Zoey is a LOT of things, but one things she isn’t is stick thin.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think she’s perfect. She is a very active girl and I’m not the least bit concerned about what her waist size is at age 8. Unfortunately it seems that manufacturers of children clothing don’t seem to agree with me that Zoey is perfectly sized for an 8 year old girl because clothes for 8 year old girls are made for little girls that have legs the size of toothpicks and a waist the size of my wrist.  I’ve been struggling to find clothes to fit my perfectly sized daughter almost since the time she stopped wearing diapers.

See, they make toddler sized clothing with stretchy waist bands that are wider in the waist and bottom because these clothes have to fit on a child around a diaper. But as soon as you outgrow toddler sizes I guess it is assumed that all little girls suddenly become  twigs.

In the past in order to find jeans that Zoey is comfortable in I have typically buy the “loose” style jeans and I buy a size larger then her normal size. This gives her the room in her waist and legs she needs to feel comfortable in her jeans but then they are WAY too long. So we ALWAYS have to roll her jeans. Which is ridiculous because look at her!

She’s a perfectly proportioned little girl! So why aren’t her jeans????

I walked into Old Navy recently to try and find some jeans for Zoey. I was intending to buy a size up, as usual. This shopping trip, however, I discovered that I had a very limited selection. It seems that this season the style is Skinny jeans, or Super Skinny jeans.

I walked over to the boy section and boy jeans come in Slim, Regular, and Husky. Now granted, no girl wants to wear clothes that say Husky on the tag-but I was sad and mad and confused at the idea that it’s ok and even expected that there will be boys who fill out and bulk up at this age but that girls but not okay for girls. 8 year old girls are apparently expected to be Super Skinny.

As a mother I dread the thought that someday Zoey will realize she doesn’t fit into Super Skinny jeans, and that she’ll think this is somehow a bad thing. I dread the day she stands in her swimsuit at the pool or her leotard and ballet and feels inferior to the twiggy girls. I pray this day never comes. I pray she is always able to look in the mirror and see the same beautiful, talents, smart, brave little girl that I see.

 

Fat Tuesday: My first Polyvore! Comfy Fall Clothes

So, everyone else in the world probably already knows about Polyvore. I've seen the cool collages of clothes and other "stuffs" on Pinterest and other blogs, but couldn't quite figure out how they were done. Until today! This is my first Polyvore outfit. This may be my new favorite thing. Seriously. I can put together outfits without actually buying them? Bring it on, baby!

Comfy Fall by laguapatona featuring black flats

Did you know that I have a Fat Tuesday Fashions board on Pinterest? Where I pin all the clothes I wish I had once a week? 

Fat Tuesday: Who Am I Hurting?

You may have noticed (or not) that there was no Fat Tuesday post last week. I was tired and didn't want to blog and wanted to do something else. So I gave myself permission. And it felt good.

Anyway...

I have a very self-deprecatory humor at times. It's how I deal. With being fat. And other things, too, but since it's Fat Tuesday, I'm talking about that.

When TSH (Tasty Soldier Husband) and I were dating, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and cavemen hunted them on the backs of wild, wooly mammoths (yes, I know, they didn't exist at the same time; I'm being WITTY here!), I made a comment at the end of the date that he was only taking me out for pity. This is when I weighed less than I do now but was necessarily "thin" and I've never really been able to see myself as pretty.

And I don't remember if he said anything about my "pity date" joke right at the time, but the next week, he called me and told me how mad the comment had made him. For a week, I fumed. What right did he have to get mad about my comments about myself?!

A week later, I called him and apologized, not because I really thought he was right, but because I wanted to continue being friends with him, even if we were no longer dating (I guess that means I kind of liked him, huh?).

Fast forward 12 years (yeah, it's been almost 12 years since that happened). I have not lost this self-deprecatory humor. I still make fun of myself--mostly my weight--and now I do it in front of my children.

This makes me a little sick to write. Because, seriously, what right do I have to make fun of the mother of these three sweet little guys?

Here's the thing: these boys think that their mom is pretty freaking awesome. Why? I have no idea, but they LOVE their mom. And their mom loves them right back. And she would never tell them that they are fat or funny-looking because she thinks they're pretty darn perfect.

Okay, I'll stop talking about myself in the third person.

But, here's the thing, they, like their dad, do not like when I make jokes about me being fat. It makes them very upset. 

My little jokes are a way to keep me safe, a way to keep me from caring too much. But at whose expense? Are these little guys going to grow up with distorted body images and with food issues because of my comments or how I've lived my life? 

I hope not. It's one of the reasons that I don't talk about the "D" word. I don't want them to grow up thinking that women need to be constantly concerned about their weight and what they're eating. Being healthy is one thing. Dieting, well, we know that's something else entirely.  And I want them to date girls and fall in love with girls and marry girls who are bright and brilliant and witty and who make them better people and who love them despite--or maybe because of--their flaws.

So, today, I am making a vow in front of the 27 people who read this blog (okay, who follow it but who don't necessarily READ it) that I will not make fun of myself for my weight or my looks or even my lack of housekeeping skills. Because my children--and, I guess, myself--deserve better than that. 

Fat Tuesday: It's my birthday!

Today is my birthday. And so, I'm going to show pictures of me looking pretty in my birthday outfit I bought from Maurices. Yeah. You can get one two, but it will look differently on you, 'cause our bodies? They're different.

After last week's melt down about some pictures I saw, you'd think I might avoid this, but no. 'Cause I looked AWESOME today. Word.

I know. I know. You're drooling. But, seriously, you can pick up the shirt and the cardi at Maurices, which has some really cute plus size things. And some awesome boots! Oh, I'll have to show you the boots another time. They're uber-cute!

And here's a selfie. Yay! It's my birthday! 37 is the new 25, right?

(The necklaces I'm wearing, sadly, are not from Maurices. The loooong one is from Vegas. The short one is my Pyrrha pendant that's become my talisman. I wear it day and night and, yes, in the shower. I occasionally take it off if I'm wearing another short necklace OR when I'm going through security at the airport. Otherwise, if you see me, I'll be wearing it. It has a raven as well as "Live in peace" in French. Yes, I do need that reminder every single day.)

Now I'm going to eat cake and ice cream. 'Cause it's my birthday! Woot!

Storybowl!

Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of spending two days with Andrea Scher of Superhero Life and I had the opportunity to experience Storybowl. When we finished, I knew I wanted to bring the experience home. So, here are the details for my first Storybowl! Woohoo!